


Aftermath

by Taim



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Death, Feels, Multi, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2018-01-12 12:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taim/pseuds/Taim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are the victor. You are the survivor. You are Karkat Vantas. </p><p>You are... alone.</p><p>A/N: This was written so insanely long ago but I can't just delete it. Welcome back to 2013.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back on FanFiction and see that it needs quite a bit of work, but I don't feel like it right now. So enjoy this months-old piece. I'm going to go curl up in a ball now. Sorry for the choppiness and inevitable OOCness.

One. 

You are the victor. You are the survivor. You are Karkat Vantas. You are... alone. The game is finished, and here you are. The very last one. The images of their deaths keep replaying in your mind. You can't help but think of all the things you should've said. They start to list off in your head, dull background noise to the slaughter you keep visualizing. John had died in the last blow against English, the last of the humans. He had finished off the monster, but the retaliation was more than either of you expected. The green demon's last act was killing your best friend. You can't remember the last time you called him Egbert, the human disease of friendship had infected you so badly that you always used his first name. You remember the last few conversations you had with him. He had pulled some stupid joke and you were telling him how bad it sucked. By then, he understood when you were just joking. Which you were. Most of his jokes are - _were_ \- pretty good, but you'd die before admitting it. You laugh bitterly at the memories of the idiotic prankster. Always fooling around, him and Dave both.

Dave... Everything about the 'ironic' time player made you want to hit something, but you also respected him. He is - _was, you idiot_ \- pretty cool, for a human. You remember when he finally got you to help in can town. Both of you rolling cans of food around and making engine noises, acting just like wigglers. The thought brings a wry smile to your face, even as you recall English grabbing Caledscratch like a toothpick and putting it through Dave's body like he was made of butter. You remember seeing him laying on the ground, attempting to make a joke as John wept over him. Something about being "just like Bro." The other humans had came after that, trying to help him even though time had run out for the time player. You shake your head, trying to make it go away. The memory of all four of them together made you remember your own friends.

It calls to mind images of the human girls. Especially the lovely, mostly-friendly dog-girl. You have - _had, had, had_ \- a slight red crush for Jade for some time. The Condesce had strengthened her, but she was still no match as English stunned her and threw her towards a meteor. Her body broke through, shattering the rock into pieces. No doubt, her bones did the same. She died instantly. You chuckle, fighting it back with memories of her helping you through another fight with your idiot past- and future-selves. She had smiled that goofy smile and rubbed the top of your head, brushing one nubby horn for a short moment. You didn't let on what the action meant to you. You cling to that image as your mind continues to stray.

Who was left? Oh yes, the fairly quiet but sometimes scary one. Rose made you anxious -again, you would only admit that after you were dead- but she is - _was_ \- kind for the most part. You were certain that she had swallowed a dictionary at one point and was slowly regurgitating it during every conversation, but you find her more-or-less companionable. You sigh and give up trying to correct yourself. It was easier to (or try to) pretend that they were still here. She could be infuriating during one of her moods, but she had good ideas. Sitting in the library with Kanaya as they watched you and Dave fighting, watching you get tangled in that stupid red cape... You wish you could go back to that moment, if only to remove the vision of her demise. You admit with a morbid acceptance that it was almost fitting for her to be consumed by the very Horrorterrors that groomed her into their darkness. She was the spark that started the near-suicide mission to destroy the demon. Her death was probably one of the more painful of the many you've witnessed. You shiver numbly. Rose was slowly ripped to pieces before being eaten.

You are tired. Fighting invincible demon lords and watching everyone you know die does that to someone. You don't notice when you finally drift out of this waking nightmare and into another. You're alone in the dream bubble, the darkest one you had ever seen. Or is it just sleep?


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long has it been now?

You are a troll who has just woken up from a restless sleep. Your skin feels tight and rough, scratchy and papery under your fingertips. You look down at your hands. The grey flesh is ripped and stained red all over. Your nails are cracked and have a rainbow wash of blood caked under them. You begin to wonder at that, but the hues bring back the memories.

You are Karkat Vantas, and it's all beginning to sink in. All of your loved (and hated) ones are gone. You just woke up and are still alone. You didn't even get to dream of them. You don't know if you'll ever dream again. You thought the dream bubbles were supposed to last, after all the work Feferi put into-

You cringe at her name as it rolls through your mind. It's all coming back in a brand new wave of pain. Maybe it's because it finally hit you and you realized that they aren't coming back. You will  _never_  see them again.

Thinking of the empress-to-be - _or would've-been-empress?_ \- brought back the very vivid image of her removal from existence. She was already dead, but at least she was still nearby for whatever you needed. She was always kind and gentle, even though by all rights she should've been the most violent person you knew. You close your eyes for a second, a mistake you regret as her face comes back to the surface. She was hurting so bad when English finally wiped her out in the same roar that finished off most of the other dead. You remember seeing her smile when you were both wrigglers, one of your earliest memories. You always loved her smile. That might've been why you never really talked to her, but you can't really remember. Could you have been intimidated by her openness? By how accepting she was of someone like you? Maybe you just wanted to be as optimistic as she always seemed to be. You wanted that happiness. You sigh. Her happiness and hope for the future had kept so many of them going.

Hope... Where did you hear that before? Oh, that's right. Finface was the 'King of Hope' or something. Ampora was a pain to nearly everyone near him. That said - _thought?,_ \- you never really hated him. He had this kind of pathetic air to him that made it hard to hate or love him. He was just annoying, but he had his good moments. You remember auspisticing between him and many of the others, not quite defending him but saying that he wasn't really worth being hated. He was just there. Much like him trying, and failing, to save Feferi in the same blast that erased them both. Just there, without making a difference... You blink and delve back into memories from your childhood. You first met him as a wriggler. You were playing in a puddle and he told you to leave because all the water belonged to him. You nearly laugh now to think of the black crush you had on him for a week after that. That faded once you came to realize how superficial he was. He wasn't much of anything, but he was still a friend for the most part. You'd just never tell him. Why wouldn't you tell him again? Annoyance? Anger? Pride? You have far too much pride. Even now you refuse to cry, even though there's no one here to see.

You follow this thought for a time before flashing to a memory of your ex-moirail. Not even he had seen those bloody tears. The closest you'd ever been to crying was while you were in his arms. Gamzee had held you close and let you force down the emotions, half-burying you in those blasted horns because he knew you wouldn't want the others to see. The stress had just been too much for you and you had to let it out. You still can't believe that idiot clown was surprised when the skull monster attacked him. You sigh again. You've been sighing so much in the past day -days? Hours? Years? How long has it been? It is starting to scare you. It sounds almost like Gamzee's wheezing after being crushed under English's blow. He was so small as you held him after that. Had Gamzee ever seemed small before? He was the tallest of the trolls but there was more than that. Something that made him seem so, so... powerful, you guess. He had a strength in him, stoned or sober. He was always fighting to take care of you all, to keep from letting the madness and rage take over. You are the only one who ever knew how hard he fought the violence bred into his blood. Now you're the only one who will ever know.

Violence in his blood...? Who was it that was always going off on rants about the hemospectrum? Oh yeah, that sweaty moron. Equius. You don't feel bad about calling him insults. The relationship between you two mostly consisted of insults and him demanding to know your blood color. You would insult him, he would not-so-subtly get angry - _angrier?_ \- and threaten you without realizing it. You would take a secret step back and leave him alone for a few days after that. He intimidated you, but you had a spot of regard for him. The way he protected Nepeta, even as she was grabbed by their foe. Throwing himself at the cherub just to distract him while she momentarily escaped. Even with the final death he suffered... He didn't deserve to be reminded of his first death, not being beheaded or seeing his moirail's face as he died. But no one else would've thrown themselves in to save her. You suppose Nepeta was the only one he really had.

Ah, Nepeta... She was always sweet, even though she got annoying sometimes. You remember seeing her shipping wall for the first time, with all the little hearts and spades and diamonds. You remember seeing the little heart by the picture of you and her. You never told her you saw it, for her sake. You didn't want to hurt sweet little Nepeta. She had such an innocence to her, such a wide-eyed wonder for the world. Even as she grew up in the wilderness and had to kill creatures to survive, it was like she didn't understand hate. Even as English killed her friends, and she attacked in protection of them, she never had the same hate the others did. Maybe that was why you always wanted to protect her. That protective feeling scared you. You were afraid of being so soft. Even as you think that, you realize that you didn't have red feelings for her. She was like a distant friend, not quite a meowrail as she called it -your throat clenches at the thought. How could you have let her die? Why did English have to force her to see those horrible eyes in the last few seconds before he erased her? You remember her last expression when her eyes met yours. You don't think you'll ever be able to get her face out of your mind. You wish you could go back to seeing her with Equius, listening to her prattle on about purrbeasts and roleplays.

Ah, roleplays. Thinking of FLARP, a certain manipulator comes to your mind. Vriska was cruel and annoying, but she was cool. You admit that you may have been just a little jealous. Even though not many people liked her, she was still a better friend than you ever were. She had her own sick way of doing it, but she was usually trying to help. You were useless compared to her. She strengthened Tavros, reached god tier through almost willpower alone, was willing to go face English alone. None of you could've taken him on, and yet she was willing to. She knew she would die, but would die fighting. She helped lead the entire group to victory, even though you'd never tell her that. You were leader in name only -self-named at that- while she took charge and forced everyone to get stronger. Strong enough to beat the game, strong enough to beat English. She grew up with such a monster as a lusus... It's hard to imagine what that would be like. You always had crabdad's caring and protection. Maybe that's why you were -are- the weak one. And you... You didn't even throw in enough of an effort to be worthy of death. Now you're stuck drifting through space without an enemy, without a friend, without a single person you care about.

You're still thinking these things as you drift back into unconsciousness.


End file.
